The Past Is Just The Past
by Coombs
Summary: Abandoned because of heavy Mary-Sue tendencies I wasn't happy with. Still up here to remind me what not to do!
1. Chapter 1

**The Following Files Are Property of Cerberus  
**Project: Lazarus  
File Status: CLASSIFIED

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-STARTING DATA TRANSFER-

San Angeles, 2172

That was a close call! I can't believe I did it! Most of all, I can't believe I MADE it out of there alive! These cops chased me down Colfax Ave for about 10 blocks until they finally gave up. And no one was there to help me. I knew they would ditch me. I KNEW IT! I've had a bad feeling about the whole thing ever since Viper told me what I had to do. I have stolen things before. I have hurt people before. I have broken into houses before. I even have killed before. But those were peole who deserved to die. Or I was only defending myself. But this time? This man hadn't done anything to me. He was unarmed. Obviously, Viper had told me lies about him. I wanted to believe him. I knew he was lying but my mind chose to ignore it. I thought that believing him would justify my actions. But it didn't. I knew it when I went there and my heart convinced me when I looked into this man's eyes right before I pulled the trigger. I will never forget the look on his face. What have I become? I can't go on like this. I'm only 17! I don't wanna die or go to jail! But I don't wanna live like this either!

I have to get out of here. I HAVE TO LEAVE! I can't stay here! This is no life. I have no perspective, no future. I'm turning 18 in three days. All I have to do is survive somehow for another 72 hours and then it's bye bye shithole!

-WARNING: FILE INCOMPLETE-

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San Angeles, 2172

I made my way to the Alliance recruiting office down in Stanton. There were pictures of me all over the place. So they are still looking for me. I wonder why they make such a big deal of this? Usually they don't look for little criminals like me in such a big manner. Unless the guy I killed was more than just a simple man. I need to talk to Viper.

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San Angeles, 2172

Ran into Finch and his thugs. Bastards! He kept mocking me when I asked him where I could find Viper. Of course he wouldn't tell me. Took out three of his guys by breaking their necks. Then the others started shooting. I ran for my life. What the hell is going on here?

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San Angeles, 2172

Heard from Sun Chin, that Viper is in Glendale. I had to threaten that whore to tell me everything she knew. Apparently that man I shot, was some undercover agent investigating against exophobic terrorists. I know that Viper and his gang hate aliens but terrorism? If I wasn't in hell already, I'd say that killing this cop will surely save me a spot there. I have to find Viper.

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San Angeles, 2172

Found Viper! He's hiding near an old warehouse. Cops everywhere. Have to be careful!

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San Angeles, 2172

Shit! I think they saw me!

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Interrogation Protocol  
Property of SAPD  
Case-ID: 8472-NCC-1

San Angeles, 2172  
Time: 11:32 am

Suspect: Shayenne Shepard, age: 17  
Head of Investigation: Det. Walter Felger

Defense Lawyer: -

Suspect was caught at 4:49 am on day of interrogation in Stanton, near Nashan Stellar Dynamics warehouse. Suspect made no resistance.

**Detective:** _Your name is Shayenne Shepard?  
_**Suspect:** _Yes!  
_**Detective****:** _Do you know why you are here?  
_**Suspect:** _Yes!  
_**Detective****:** _Anything you want to tell us?  
_**Suspect:** _What do you want to know? You are cops! You know that I killed the guy. What else do you want me to tell you?  
_**Detective****:** _So you don't deny that it was you who shot Special Agent John Merryweather?  
_**Suspect:** _I didn't know he was a cop! If I had known about his true idendity I wouldn't have gone anywhere near him. I heard he was investigating against some exophobic terrorists so what was he doing with Viper and his bunch of idiots? _  
**Detective****:** _You say you didn't know who or what he was, yet you say you heard about his investigation? How does that go together?  
_**Suspect:** _Look, I'm not dumb! I can tell when I was lied to and used. Especially when you guys make such a big deal of a 17 year old lil' criminal killing some drug addict who allegedly killed the wife of your gang's boss. I could put two and two together in the end, ya know? And as soon as I realized that there was more to it, I wanted to find out why Viper had lied to me! And by the way, your Special Agent LOVED to visit one of the district's hoe and she knew quite a lot about him. I guess that's what got him killed in the first place. Because if I could find out, then sure as hell Viper could!  
_**Detective****: **_What did Viper say his reasons were to lie to you?  
_**Suspect:** _You assholes caught me when I was about to sneak into his hiding place! I didn't get the chance to speak to him. But maybe YOU can tell ME why a Special Agent was involved with him while investigating against xenophobic terrorists?  
_**Detective****: **_You really have no idea?  
_**Suspect: **_Not the slightest!  
_**Detective: **_Your friend Viper...  
_**Suspect: **_He's not my fucking friend!  
_**Detective: **_You seem very angry.  
_**Suspect: **_No shit!  
_**Detective: **_There have been investigations against Viper for the past three years now. He has been involved in all kinds of terrorist acts against aliens, here on Earth and all over the Galaxy. We suspect him to be the head of a big organisation, yet there has never been enough evidence to arrest him for good. Special Agent Merryweather was our chance to infiltrate Viper's network to find out more.  
_**Suspect: **_That explains a lot!  
_**Detective: **_Come again?  
_**Suspect: **_Look, everyone in the gang hates aliens with a passion. Everyone except for me. I never really met any aliens so I can't say yet what to think of them. My guess is, there's assholes among them just as there's assholes among us humans. I often got mocked for that. Well, being mocked was nothing compared to...anyway. I think that this is the reason why he lied to me. He knew I wouldn't kill a cop! I never wanted to kill anyone at all. But telling me that this man had killed Shanna...you don't understand, she always was some sort of mother to me, he knew that I would want revenge for that. That sick bastard. I fucking knew he was lying to me. Why didn't I just listen to my hea...  
_**Detective: **_Heart?  
_**Suspect: **_Whatever!  
_**Detective: **_And what were you going to do once you had talked to him?  
_**Suspect: **_I don't know. Kill him. And if I didn't get myself killed or ended up in jail, join the Alliance to leave this shithole forever!  
_**Detective: **_You want to enlist?  
_**Suspect: **_That was my plan, yes! I mean, it's not like I have many other options. And nothing really keeps me here.  
_**Detective: **_Maybe we can make a deal..._

-WARNING: FILE INCOMPLETE-


	2. Chapter 2

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Transcript from recordings made during observation  
Property Of SADP  
Case-ID: 8472-NCC-1

San Angeles, 2172  
Time: 10:12pm

Location: Dale St and Katella Ave in Stanton/San Angeles

**Red Panda:** _She's in! _  
**Polar Bear:**_ Voice check! Shaye? Say It's Parsons, can you hear me?  
_**Little Cat:** _Loud and clear. _  
**Polar Bear:** _Good, I can hear you too. Just to make that sure once again. You try to get the datapads from his desk and then you get out of there. Do you understand? I don't want you to play the hero. You get us the datapads, we deal with Viper, and either of us is happy, you got that?  
_**Little Cat:** _I understood that the first time. It's not like I have much of a choice anyway.  
_**Polar Bear: **_Don't do anything stupid!  
_**Little Cat: **_Yeah yeah!  
_**Red Panda: **_Alright, we will keep the radio quiet now. We will be able to hear you but you won't hear us. You know the code word. If anything goes wrong, we get you out of there.  
_**Little Cat: **_Sure, Detective.  
_**Red Panda: **_She's a kid. I don't think this was a good idea.  
_**Polar Bear: **_She's our only chance to get the info we need. My superiours don't want to spend another 3 years investigating this case, let alone trying to infiltrate Viper's gang again now that he's warned.  
_**Red Panda: **_It's a high risk for her. What if she gets killed? I mean, Viper made her kill Merryweather so she either goes to jail or got killed fleeing from us. Either way, he would have been rid of her. Now that she's going back, right in there...I have a bad feeling about it.  
_**Polar Bear: **_She's smart. And she sure knows how to fight. I don't think a girl can grow up in San An's streets and not know how to take care of herself. And like she said, she doesn't really have a choice.  
_**Red Panda: **_Yeah because we literally forced her to do it.  
_**Polar Bear: **_She would go to jail anyway. So what does she have to lose besides her life? You said she wants to enlist? Well she has KILLED a man. She actually deserves to go to jail for that. But if she helps us with Viper and survives it, then she sure as hell deserves to be with the Alliance. So all we can do right now is hope that she doesn't screw up and if she doesn't, then let's hope for her, that she survives this.  
_**Little Cat: **_I am in his office and hacked the lock. The files are all on his desk. I looked through them. There is more than what you told me. This is not only about smuggling poisoned medical cargo to alien colonies. I found something about explosives that...oh my god. This is horrible. They want to smuggle explosives to a turian colony, using the next cargo transport from Nashan Stellar Dynamics. They...  
_**Red Panda: **_There's four shuttles arriving!  
_**Polar Bear: **_Take the datapads and get out of there._

-WARNING: FILE INCOMPLETE- 


	3. Chapter 3

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Case File NCC-1-0078  
Property Of SADP  
Case-ID: 8472-NCC-1  
Head Of Investigation: Det. Walter Felger  
Report: Det. Walter Felger

San Angeles, 2172

Agent Parsons and I have been observing the area where we had arrested Shayenne Shepard for murder of Spec. Agent Merryweather. After I had talked to Agent Parsons, who was Spec. Agent Merryweather's partner, he told me that the only way to make progress in this investigation, was convincing the suspect to work as C.I. for us regardless of her young age. I was hesitant first but agreed after I had talked to her myself and finally offered her this deal. We did not have to convince her at all. She understood the situation she was in. My superiors agreed to the arrangement. Subject of the deal was simple: She would bring us datapads containing sufficient information about Viper's plans and former, current and future transactions that we could use as evidence against him. In return she would be cleared of all charges regarding Spec. Agent Merryweather's death and released from remand. The suspect had agreed to this.

We arrived at Dale St and Katella Ave in Stanton at around 10 in the evening. We were using old bluetooth radio devices to stay in touch with Shepard. She had told us that Viper's hiding place was close to the warehouse of Nashan Stellar Dynamics. It took her about 10 minutes to locate the entrance and hack the lock. When she was inside, she contacted us. We told her again, what she was supposed to look for. The moment she had found the datapads, four private shuttles were arriving, Viper being in one of them. We told Shepard to take the evidence and leave the place asap. At the same time we prepared for intervention but the radio stayed quiet and about 5 minutes later Shepard arrived at our shuttle, handing us the datapads.

Seeing that...

-WARNING: FILE INCOMPLETE-

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San Angeles, 2172

Happy Birthday to me! I am a lucky duck...or however that old saying goes. And whatever a duck is. Anyway, I'm lucky. Cops got me when I was trying to get into Viper's place. Offered me a deal. Helped them to get info from Viper that gets him arrested. And sure enough, the old bastard got arrested only a few hours ago. Biggest birthday present ever. I'm sure he will never know it was me who sold him to the cops. And even if he does, I couldn't care less. Hope he rots in hell. That detective was nice though. Let me stay at his house last night and payed for a taxi shuttle to the recruitment office. Now I'm waiting to enlist. Lotsa people here.

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**SYSTEM ALLIANCE ENLISTMENT FORM 6XFA**

Personal Information:  
_(Required)_  
Name: _Shepard, Shayenne_  
Gender: _Female_  
Date of Birth: _ 4.11.2154_  
Father: _unknown_  
Mother: _unknown_  
current adress: _everywhere in San Angeles_

Contact in case of emergency: Walter Felger, SADP

Medical Review:  
_(Note: Will be filled out by Alliance)_  
Applicant is of good health and in shape, however shows signs of malnutrition but can be treated. More noteable though is the fact that the Applicant has a high amount of Element Zero nodules in her nervous system but shows no signs of any implants. Seeing her past life, this is not surprising.

We highly recommend the new L3-implants and a special training.

Psychological Review:  
_(Note: Will be filled out by Alliance)_  
Shepard is very intelligent and curious. She tends to answer questions by asking counterquestions and has a very sarcastic streak. During the session I noticed that she kept observing everything that was going on around her. She grew up on the streets of San Angeles, never knowing her parents. I am surprised, she seems to be of such a stable state of mind and without any serious criminal record. However, I feel that she has major trust issues and it will be very difficult for her to submit herself.

Apart from that, I would like to point out that when asked for her reasons to join the Alliance military, Shepard simply stated that she wanted "to get out of this shithole". When I kept asking about her past, she said that it was none of my or anyone's business and that she "didn't expect this recruitment thing to be some sort of brain scan." When asked for her parents, she said that she doesn't "give a Vorcha's ass about them" and that she "managed her entire life damn well without them" and doesn't "need them now."

Shepard seemed to feel uneasy about all personal questions asked.

**Summary:** I do feel that she is a very strong minded person. Seeing that L3-implants were recommended for her, I would additionally recommend a special forces training to not only help her learn how to use her biotics but also to form her already present yet very raw potential as a leader.

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	4. Chapter 4

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System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station  
Private First Class S. Shepard  
2172

Didn't get to keep my log updated for quite a few weeks. Lots of training and even more theoretical stuff. Not complaining though. It's really interesting to learn that much about all those aliens. Happy that I get five meals a day and all. Could do with some more sleep but I've never been much of a good sleeper anyway so I'm kinda used to that, I guess.

Got L3-implants in my first week here. They said, I was a biotic. Never knew that. It's pretty cool, really. They put me in this special Biotics training program and I'm learning a lot about how to use this. Most here kept teasing me that I'd never catch up on everything since I've never had any biotics training before but screw them. I'm holding up damn good. Accidentally flipped the Gunny over the other day when he wanted to test my singularity skills. Maybe should have told him that I've been practicing by myself. He didn't really like it. Let me clean the restrooms as "disciplinary measure". Whatever! I've had my hands in deeper shit before than in toilets. Didn't really bother me. Year is almost over. Some are going back to Earth to visit their fam. Gonna be quiet here. Don't really mind. Leaves me more time to practice and the gym won't be crowded for once.

Spending my time off mostly by myself. The others are annoying the shit outta me. I could punch their faces all the time. Most of them are here cause they wanna be some hero or something. Most of them have a long Alliance family history. It's tiring to hear all their glorious stories. If I gotta listen to "MY GRANDFATHER USED TO..." blah blah blah...I swear I'll pin them to the wall head down. I know, gotta stay out of trouble for once or they'll kick me out. And going back to Earth cause of those pinheads, not worth it. I'm sure I can pull myself together. Training phase will be over in about six weeks. Then I won't have to put up with their shit anymore.

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-

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System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station  
Private First Class S. Shepard  
2172

Coleman and Sanders got in a fight today after lunch. I stepped in. Both said the other had insulted the first one. Idiots! Turned out, Coleman's dad had fought during the First Contact War under General Williams while Sanders' dad had fought served under Admiral Drescher. Now both stood there yelling at each other. Sanders said, Coleman's dad served under a coward and had probably been a coward himself while Coleman yelled back that Sanders' dad was a navy fag that just happened to be at the right place at right time. Oh well! Guys! Told both of them that we're all soldiers, no matter if Marine or Navy and that they were both disrespecting EVERYONE who had given their lives in defending Shanxi. Blah blah...why do they all act like dumbasses around here?

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-

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System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station  
Private First Class S. Shepard  
2173

Happy New Year! Been talking a lot to Coleman lately. Came over to me after that argument with Sanders. He actually apologized. Not necessary, but nice of him.

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-

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System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station  
Private First Class S. Shepard  
2173

Spending too much time with Coleman. Don't know what to think of him. He really seems nice and I like being around him. Gotta be careful though.

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-

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System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station  
Private First Class S. Shepard  
2173

Two more weeks until training phase is over. Spend a week off with Pete and his family. I felt awkward. Everybody seemed to care about each other...and me! Pete is a sweetheart. Never felt like this before. We can talk for hours or sit next to each other not talking at all. I like that. Still, don't know where this is going. Or if this is what I want.

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-

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System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station  
Private First Class S. Shepard  
2173

Eight more days. Got in an argument with Pete. He dropped the L-word. Totally caught me by surprise and all I did was to thank him. So what now? Weird!

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-

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System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station  
Private First Class S. Shepard  
2173

Three more days. Yes, I am counting now! Tried to talk to Pete but we got in another argument. I just can't say it. Never said that before. How do I know if it's love? By saying it? Don't think so! He got totally hammered last night and told Sands and Perkface about it. Now everybody knows. Knew I shoulda been more careful. Dammit!

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-

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System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station  
Private First Class S. Shepard  
2173

Two more days. Pete is in medbay. Sick as he can be. Heard that he drank some Ryncol and totally knocked himself out. Serves him right. Sanders and Perk keep running their mouths about me. Couldn't care less. Last final tests and all tomorrow. Gotta keep a clear mind.

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-

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System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station  
Private First Class S. Shepard  
2173

Tomorrow we get the results. Everything went pretty smoothly. Had to take my biotic tests with Sands and Perkface. Didn't feel sorry at all when I kept throwing them around. They should have practiced more instead of talking behind my back. Now off to get some sleep.

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-

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System Alliance Military Academy  
2173, Arcturus Station

**Final Assessment**  
**for**  
**Private First Class Shayenne Shepard**

Private First Class Shepard passed all oral and written exams exceeding our expactations. She proved her tactical and team leading skills to be outstanding on the training grounds, including successfully leading her own team against one of our military VIs. She never had at any time problems asserting her authority and her team willingly accepted all given orders.

Although she did not have any implants at her time of enlistment, receiving L3-implants to establish her biotic power was no problem for her. Even outside of her regular Adept training units she practiced hard to improve her skills and eventually got ahead of all other candidates as well as her Gunnery Chief.

It was difficult for PFC Shepard at first to accept authority and to take orders. She often questioned her superiors but during her ongoing training, she learned all required basics of the chain of command and fully adjusted to the military rules.

Among her comrades she had the reputation of being a fair person and having a strong sense of justice, yet she also was said to be a loner. At all times, PFC Shepard seemed very focused on her training. She solved most conflicts among her comrades diplomatically but sometimes resorted to violence if words did not show any effect.

Summary: For Private First Class Shayenne Shepard we suggest the Special Forces Elite Training Program.

Signed: Gunnery Chief Andrew Parker, Operations Chief Elana Morgan

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	5. Chapter 5

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From: System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station  
2nd Lieutenant Shepard  
2173

To: Det. Walter Felger, SADP, San Angeles, Earth

_Det. Felger, _

_I'm not sure if you remember me but I thought, I'd write you anyway. I joined the Alliance the day you paid for my taxi shuttle. I finished training phase about 10 weeks ago and passed all exams. I'm still on Arcturus Station in a special training program, I don't know how much I'm allowed to tell you about this, but all I can say is that it is pretty cool. I don't regret the things I have done, for they got me to where I am now. I do, however, regret taking the life of an innocent man and I hereby promise that I will NEVER let this happen again if I can avoid it. _

_This training, this new life means a lot to me and I never got around to thank you for offering me this deal and for believing in me. For seeing in me more than just some hopeless kid from streets of SanAn that did whatever she had to do to survive. So, thank you! _

_Sincerely yours, _

_S. Shepard_

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-

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From: San Angeles Police Department, San Angeles, Earth  
Detective Walter Felger  
2173

To: 2nd Lieutenant Shepard, System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station

_Dear Shaye, _

_I am relieved to hear from you, of course I remember. For a moment I was worried, you were out and about in SanAn again after we locked Viper up and that you never enlisted at all. I really thought that I've been wrong about you but as I can see now, I was right all along. I knew, you are a smart girl and a good person at heart. Although, I've been a cop for the past 36 years, I've never given up hope that there's good in most of people. And you are proof for that. Yes, I am very proud. You may be a kid from the streets, but you have worked hard for becoming a 2nd Lieutenant, I am sure. _

_I will retire at the beginning of next year. If you ever come back to Earth for a visit, make sure you stop by. You are always welcome here. _

_Keep me posted! _

_Walter_

_PS: I will hold you to that promise for as long as I live. And always remember that killing innocents doesn't stop wars, it starts them._

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-

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System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station  
2nd Lieutenant Shepard  
2173

Rough day, training is hard! Little sleep! Guess that's why it's called Special Forces Elite Training Program. Not complaining though. Never been in a better shape. Never felt better before.

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-

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System Alliance Military Academy, Arcturus Station  
2nd Lieutenant Shepard  
2173

My biotic skills are still improving. Who would have thought that possible. N1 exams in a few weeks. Gotta focus. We are a way smaller group than we were in our enlistment training phase. Only 25. 21 guys, 4 girls. Tough core. We stick together most of the time. Although, most of them need to stop thinking that we are "elite". We are nothing yet! We're in TRAINING! Nothing more, nothing less. Yet most of them walk around like they're already some sort of elite soldier. Pathetic!

Curious to see what's going to happen afer N1! Heard that everything after that will be an evaluation of us in action. Battle, missions, assignments...can't wait to see what they got in store.

Love this job! Love this life!

-DATA TRANSFER COMPLETED-


End file.
